loverlydia

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They just are.

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END OF STORY.

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(random picture of me today, pardon the weak photo quality)

Greetings to all my readers!

I'm here to wish each and everyone of you a HAPPY DRAGON YEAR! I hope y'all are having a awesome time with your family/relatives/friends wherever you are! Remember to snack on the delicious chinese new year goodies and not to give them a miss! Since they are only eaten once a year. My favourite goodies has gotta be the pineapple tarts, love letters, kueh lapis, peanut cookies, and the list goes on and on! So far, I have yet to savour all the goodies. I hope I will have the chance to do so tomorrow! I'm currently in my aunt's place @ Sixth Avenue. The adults are busy playing mahjong while i'm here blogging from the second floor! I have been eating so much homecooked dishes nowadays and i'm getting quite sick of it. I need pizza, I need burgers, I need ice cream, I need western food! I've been eating so much lately. I'll definitely go running more often when this occasion is over! In spite of that, I've been enjoying my time thoroughly with my family and relatives! Good food, good company, along with much joy and laughter. I'm truly blessed.

Second day in Bangkok, we first made our way to a thai temple near Chinatown! I honestly dislike visiting temples but my dad insisted so we had to go along with it. The sun was scorching and I took refuge under a shelter instead. I camwhored with my brother and enjoyed the breeze while my dad went all enthu about the temple and everything inside it -__-

WELCOME TO CHINATOWN!

 Note: This is not Singapore's Chinatown. It's Bangkok's Chinatown!

We were all famished and was searching for a nice place to grab a bite. After much walking, we caught this food stall that sells asian noodles. We immediately went: 'LET'S GO!' The noodles tasted great but they were in small portions. We ended up ordering more than a bowl for the each of us!

Iced coffee. SSHOIK!

Iced milk tea. SSHOIK!

Maxed out SSHOIK iced coffee & iced milk tea! A drink from paradise, available on earth.

FRIGGIN' YUMMY INDIAN FRITTERS!

JESUS CHRIST THESE LITTLE COCONUT PASTE CORN PUFFS WERE SO SO SO GOOD!

Pink coloured beehoon, which was very unusual.

A cup of steamed sweet corn, with a dash of sugar and condensed milk! Tasted really sweet, but yummy anyway!

Lunched @ MK restaurant, the MBK outlet! My bestfriend said it was a must-try and indeed, IT'S A MUST TRY! MK is a steamboat restaurant which can be found in majority of the malls in Bangkok. We ordered so much, and I was surprised how cheap the bill came!

Dinner @ Yum Saap! Wouldn't recommend this one. Food came in small portions and they didn't taste as good as the menu looks. PICTURES ARE DECEIVING!

Ended the day with Swensens ice cream for dessert! All 4 of us ordered an ice cream each. I loved my Chewy Chocky Fancy, which was basically chocolate ice cream with hot fudge. So sinful but HECK. I was busy admiring this particular ice cream chef who was working in Swensens. I totally wouldn't mind a thailand boyfriend!

Chinatown has gotta be one of my favourite places in Bangkok. Awesome food everywhere, and awesome stuff everywhere. What more can you ask for?

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Bangkok Thailand (Day 3) will be up next!

 Till then, be patient and await.

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Before I go to bed, I thought it would be nice to share with y'all 10 random facts about me! Yup, totally random but I just have a urge to blog a short one as I'm in a good mood today   

Let's get started!

• I sleep with 3 pillows, 1 bolster, 3 blankets, and a farm of toys (domo toy, teddybear, pink cat, white rat, puppy)
• I can't go to bed without brushing my teeth clean. Which includes flossing and cleaning of my tongue.
• I can't go to bed without applying lotion to my feet.
• I can't go to bed without setting my whole body with my favourite rose body powder.
• I sleep with my chest facing the ceiling. I can never sleep sideways, not a side sleeper.
• I do not snore.
• I have a polaroid on my bedside wall, a sweet picture of me and my A&F boyfriend. (HIS PACS... JESUS CHRIST)
• I hate dreams. I would rather reality.
• Before I sleep, I make it a point to pray to God every night.
• I am a heavy sleeper.

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I'm completely worn out today. It has been a long day, and it has gotta be one of the most tiring days ever! Nonetheless, my days are getting better! Going to bed with a thankful heart. Thankful for my family, thankful for my bestfriends, thankful for everything. Goodnight all!

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Wordy long post, you don't have to read on!

Crying has become a daily routine. Ever since I recieved my O level results a week ago, my life wasn't the same anymore. 17 years of my life, I've never ever been this low. All the hardwork, all the effort, all the time, all the money, unfortunately did not pay off. In the past, I've always believed in this quote: ''With hardwork, comes success.'' But this ordeal truly proved this quote wrong. Now I've learnt, hardwork doesn't necessary guarantee success, life is unfair like this. Till today, im still trying to swallow the fact that im left with nothing but a mess. I'm not afraid to admit that I pushed the blame to God, I stopped believing in him, and I questioned him countless times, why did I deserve this? I cry hard everyday, I stopped praying. I go to bed unhappy, and I wake up unhappy. Where's the happy Lydia we used to know? It's a mixture of emotions inside me. Disappointment, frustration, sadness, heartache, and everything negative. This is not me. When was the last time I truly smiled or laughed? This is only the very first major setback of my life, and I already have a big problem picking myself up. I can't imagine the other failures and setbacks that are awaiting ahead of me. So much has happened these days, within my family, my friends, and myself. Despite all the suicidal thoughts, I'm still here in one piece, alive & breathing.

Dad & mom, I know I failed you. I know i'm a disappointment. I know I made you upset. I tried my best, I truly did. But my best just wasn't good enough. I just want you to know that it hurts me more than anyone else, and at this period of time, I ask for your understanding and trust. I'm aware that I've instilled a terrible attitude in me these days, throwing tantrums at you, talking to you in harsh tones, making you tear, and making your hearts break. I don't want this too, and I wish all these never had to happen. I've become a total emotional wreck. It's hard to manage myself. I've already planned out my path ahead, and it sure isn't going to be easy. I'm afraid, myself. I'm taking a risk, and this risk doesn't come cheap. I know you'll have to cash out large sums of money just to allow me to step onto this path, and I know that you're afraid I'll make your precious cash go to waste. I understand, I really do. We don't come from a very well to do family, I wasn't fed with a gold or silver spoon. But I promise you, treat this as a form of investment. With this failure, i'm much more motivated and determined to do even better. I have so much more potential in me, and I need to unleash it. From the bottom of my heart, I apologise for everything that has happened. I want to say sorry to the both of you face to face, but I just don't have the courage to do so. I know it has been hard for the both of you these days too, and I promise to make it up to you. Just give me a few years' time, and I'll repay everything back to you DOUBLE. I promise, I love you both.

So, it's confirmed!

I'll be schooling in TMC Academy (private school), studying Law! In just 1 years' time, I'll be already getting my Diploma in Law! And I hope all goes well and smooth, so I can proceed to take my Degree in Law for the next 3 years. Afterwards, I'll enter SMU (local university) to take the major final bar exam for a few years, and then, I CAN FINALLY PRACTICE LAW! That's my plan, yup. I'll do what it takes for me to achieve this.

No more sucidal thoughts Lydia, no more tears, no more unhappiness! This marks a new beginning and I believe the journey ahead is going to be an exciting one. I will do WHATEVER it takes to reach the top. One step at a time, I truly believe I'll be able to make my dream come true.

''Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been, to stand back up taller than you ever were.''

Ending off this longass post with a song from the 90's! I'll tune in to this song everyday, and everyday's gonna be good  

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As usual, macs breakfast at the airport before the flight!

I had 3 seats all to myself! Shoik or whut?

Landed in the heart of Bangkok! These colourful taxis really caught my eye, esp the pink ones! If only SG could have colourful taxis too. MEH.

Arrived at ASIA HOTEL!

Lunched at this roadside food stall located at Chatuchak. Oh my god, the above plate of my plain rice topped with omelette and minced pork was DELISH!

Walking along the lanes of Chatuchak, I was pespiring profusely. The sun was being the ultimate bitch with a capital B. I felt like a pork being roasted.

Cute little quail eggs.

If you happen to be in Chatuchak, look out for this particular stall that sells fried fishcakes! These fishcakes were SUPHERB, with a dash of their awesome chilli, DAYUM.

A cup of iced longan drink to save the day!

FYEAH THAI PANCAKES!

Spinach pie available at Macdonalds. EWW?! Spinach are for rabbits.

MUTHAFREAKING YUMMEH CORN PIE JESUS CHRIST WHY IS THIS NOT AVAILABLE IN SG'S MACDONALDS?!?!

Dinner at the family's favourite place, Ban Khun Mae! Just a 5-10 walk away from MBK.

These earrings were my best buys for Day 1!

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That sums up my post for Bangkok Thailand Day 1!

I MISS BANGKOK ALREADY

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As much as I hate being emotional and lovesick here, I need to let this out.

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This is for you Jon.

I doubt you'll ever come across my blog because you probably don't pay any attention to me as much as I pay attention to everything about you. But if you do, the least you can do for me is to read on. I don't get why, you like to text me and stop replying halfway. Even if it's the problem with our phones or whatsoever, lets face the fact. If you were really keen to talk to me, you would have texted me once again. But nuh-uh. I am so sick and tired of the bullshit you put me through. Knowing you was a hugeass mistake. If I could turn back the hands of time, rewind back to the dancefloor where we met, I swear I would have undone everything. I should have known to walk away, I should have disappeared without a trace. But instead, I stood there waiting, hoping you would come around. We started off sweet, fast but I thought it didn't matter. But look at us now. I try to make things right, but you never fail to shove it in my face. You make me sick, what is it that you want? Enough of mindfucking me. I left 2011, leaving you behind. How could you just hang me on a thread like this? Once was enough, now twice? What do you take me for? I was moving on well without you into 2012, but fuck. You had to come back, saying you missed me and blah. Now I know, those were just words of bullshit. Did you really mean what you said? I don't think so. Foolish enough of me to believe your words, thinking maybe things could go right again. But yup, you did your thing, you left me hanging again. Wow. I have a thousand and one reasons to why I SHOULD NOT love you, but I still continued loving you wholeheartedly despite your past/flaws/theshityouputmethrough. I was willing to let go of everything and accept you for who you are, so tell me why do you have to treat me like trash? People warn me about you, your friends, your ex lovers. But I shut them out instead and chose to not believe anything they say. So tell me why do you have to treat me like trash? All the time I wasted on you, all the bullshit you put me through, everything that we had didn't mean a thing to you. This time I SWEAR i'm never coming back. Deep down, I already know that you're definitely not the one I'll be happy with. The funny thing is remembering what you said before: 'I'm not someone who'll come and go like the others' - THERE, LIAR. Oh the irony, you came and left. It took me alot to move on without you, and I was doing well. But I fell back into your trap again, I dug my own grave by coming over. I knew you was trouble, I knew I wouldn't be able to take the heat. So why did I still play with fire? I guess I didn't learn. Once bitten, twice shy. Enough is truly enough. Enough of being treated like trash. Enough of being treated like shit. Enough of being treated like a toy. Enough of being treated like I meant nothing to you. Enough. You don't even know me. Just leave, okay? You don't know what you're doing to me. All the tears I cried for you, all the times I was ruined because you left me hanging, all the happiness and love you sucked out from me. Like a toy, you use me whenever you want, whenever you feel like it. I don't deserve to feel this way, I don't deserve this awful treatment from you. I gave you a chance to prove yourself, but you destroyed it anyway. So now i'm really done. I got myself in, I get myself out. I've run out of words, I've run out of time. It's best we don't talk at all, I know its over. I'm calling it quits, i'm never coming back. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. I will not allow you to destroy my happiness any further. I deserve much more. I challenge our memories to haunt me every night, bring it bro. God made me to be much more stronger than this, I've gone through worse situations and heartbreaks in life. This won't kill me, you won't kill me. Treat me like a joke? I'll leave you like its funny. Am I supposed to put my life on hold because you don't know how to act and you don't know where your life is going? Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted, in a corner crying? Pardon me if I don't show it. I hate you, I don't know what you're trying to achieve here and I give up. Not cool, not cool at all. I'm a fucking human, I have feelings. Even my hamster treats me better than you do. Fuck you, fuck love, and fuck this bleeding heart of mine. Every breath I take is just another step away from you. I'm better than your ex and better than your next. It's your lost, not mine. You make me sick, fuck you.

GAME OVER, I'M DONE.

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HELLO 2012, AND HELLO YOU!  

The clock has striked midnight, today is already the second day of 2012! How time really flies, it is a brand new year now. These days, I've thought about how far I've came. All I've gotta say is, I am truly proud of myself. I dedicated the whole of me in 2011 to studies, I struggled, I fought, I battled, but I survived. Looking back, those dog days are over. I'm so glad I pulled through, so glad I made it to the end. 2011 was a rough year, a really tough one. All the stress, pressure, books, exams, expectations, lonliness, emptiness... I nearly died. I've never seen myself study this hard, and I've done what I could. I've did my best, gave my all, took a chance, taken the risk, braved through everything. I'm still in awe, i'm so proud.

I wouldn't have pulled through year 2011 without my family, friends, classmates, cliquemates, bestfriends, and most importantly, God. No words can describe how grateful and thankful I am towards each and every single one of them. They have each touched my heart in their very own special way, and I will always remember them. I have met such awesome friends/teachers in school, I truly thank God for everything.

I've been so occupied with the holidays and I'll have to face my fears in a week's time. The 'O' level results are going to be revealed, and as each day passes, I worry more and more. I tremble at the thought of it, how will I do? Even though I know I've did my best, and I should accept whatever results, I honestly need good grades. It's not a want, IT'S A NEED. I DESPERATELY NEED to get myself a safe spot in Temasek Polytechnic's Law & Management. If you didn't know, my dream ambition is to be a lawyer. Sounds corny but yeah, i'm serious. And unluckily, Temasek Polytechnic is the ONE AND ONLY school which offers the Law & Management course. I don't have a choice, I don't. Besides Law & Management, there is absolutely NOTHING i'm interested in. I've tried considering about other courses, but NO. All I want is LAW. Dear God, give it to me. PLEASE. Can you see how much I need this?

To sum it all up, all I've gotta say about 2011 is that I've accomplished alot and proved that I'm much stronger and capable. I've also changed for the better, character and attitude wise. I've also became stronger, tougher, towards love. I've learned so much, so much. It's a whole new year now, and honestly speaking, I don't have any new year resolutions in particular. Although it's a new year, there will still be ups and downs, obstacles and challenges ahead that we have to face. Life is not a bed of roses, you know it. We must all learn to deal with whatever shit that comes at us and live each day to the fullest. Not like i'm a true believer of the world ending in 2012 but hey, you'll never know. I hope the world doesn't die on me, because there is so much more I have to achieve. I need to be successful as a lawyer one day. I need to make it big. I need to be rich. I need to see $50 as 50 cents. I need to live the life. I need to have truckloads of cash. And most importantly, I need to drown my family with lotsa cash and love. I need to pamper my family. I need to treat my mom as queen. I need to treat my dad as king. I need to have a happy marriage. I need to grow old. I need to die, knowing that I have lived life to the fullest.

Before I end off, I want to wish everyone a happy and blessed new year ahead! Stay happy and healthy forever, and live everyday like you're dying. I want to let you guys know that I am f*cking thankful for each and everyone of you readers, friends, family, and loved ones. Things will only get better from here, there is so much more ahead to look forward to! I'll make 2012 rock.

 Btw, i'm still in the midst of updating my post on Bangkok Thailand (Day 1)! This is taking forever.

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MWAH

I went to get my christmas nails done with my bestfriend a few weeks ago! Just a simple plain coat of OPI's collection, nothing spectacular. Well, christmas is just happening for a day or two, I don't see a need to beautify my nails too much and anyway, they'll chip off sooner or later right? Oh, in case you're curious, I got these nails done at The Nail Status located in Far East Plaza! Ha, my nails have all chipped off already. But are now newly painted and decorated by yours truly. No pictures tho!

Last wednesday night @clubmink ~

How does these christmas cupcakes look? I think they look lovely! I never thought I could bake such pretty cupcakes. With the help of my bestfriend, these christmas cupcakes were a huge success! We did the cream frosting ourselves as we had a tough time searching for the already-made one. It's amazing how the chocolate and rainbow sprinkles could make these cuppies look so pretty. Simple and sweet!

Do not underestimate this tiny bowl of cream pasta. I would totally die for it.

 Lunch buffet @ Buffet Town which is located in Raffles City! It's currently my favourite buffet place. I was never a buffet kind of person, but I just had to squeeze the goodness in! They have a wide spread there, appetizers, mains, seafood, dessert, drinks and yadayadayada. It wasn't too pricey and most importantly, the food there was SOO GOOD! I was so busy indulging so I didn't had the time to take pictures. I would probably go back to Buffet Town again someday.

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Await my next update! It'll be about my trip to Bangkok last month. Meanwhile, I wanna wish everyone an advanced Merry Christmas! Oh, and Santa isn't real. Opps, I just destroyed your childhood kids. What's christmas without snow? Ah, fcuk it.

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As the title suggests, these are some overdue visuals of November! Dined at Marche with KM. Just so you know, I LOVE MARCHE.

Moving on, it was family dinner @ The Palms! Which is a restaurant located in Singapore Swimming Club.

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Goodbye November!