I have this chronic inability to initate sleep.

Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks.

I used to be feeling so uneasy in the past few days due to the sudden imbalance in my life, trying to let loose and not spend my time stressing over nothing, putting in so much effort but little good seems to be coming out, thinking why can't I reap the rewards of my hard labour? When will the whirlwind of emotions eventually pass? Trying to rest from the stress & stand firm against my tests of will. But now, the load on my shoulders are gone because I have the best boyfriend by my side and I would never ever ask for more.

Baby, I want you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. I just want to tell you that you mean so so much to me, and would like to thank you for always being there for me, in the best times and also in the worst times. I will never have to worry that I would not have a shoulder to lean on cause your shoulders are always open for me 24/7. You hold so much in my heart for the person you are and just the things you do. You have such a bright charming smile which just lights up everything that is dull and the little problems of the day would eventually just disappear. Im so glad I met someone like you & not to say, I feel so lucky to be with you. You are like an every girl's dream and I know how many girls out there want you to be theirs but im so thankful that you have chosen me to be the one. Forgive me if I had maked you upset at times but please do know that I dont mean to. Thanks for always tolerating with my nonsense, I love the times we laugh so hard together at things. I love you, I love you in every single way. I hope we can stay this way, you make everything seem so perfect and worthwhile.

With love from me to you ♥

The pictures did much of the talking did they? Ohwell, let me elaborate more here. So, the chalet went out just fine & I wished I could stay there for a week more or so. Who doesn't? The first day there was sorta screwed up. Bbq was a mess, had to entertain here & there like a busy mice and had hardly anytime for myself. And and the worst was (..............................................) Phew, im real glad things are fine now. :) Really happy for those who maked their way down & also for their awesome presents, gifts & red packets. Everyone else finally settled down & there goes my sleep at 5am. What a exhausting day!

Rushed off to school next morning at around 8am, I know this sounds really stupid but I had to. So, pasir ris all the way to dover... and then back. It kills. Thanks to LingLin who acompanied me down to school & back up! Headed our way to wild wild wet but we didnt had the fun we could had as we had our own problems. I guessed I did something Baby hated for him to ignore me for the whole day! Ah, nothing feels right when he's upset. So, we went back to the chalet pool & chilled there for awhile instead. Afterwhich, dinner at pastamania and my dory fish baked rice was great!! Finally, kkkkkkkkkkk-box was a blast. Though, there were some issues corking up the scene. But again, things were finally fine after some heart-talk with my boy. Baby, we'll pull thru no matter how screwed everything is alright? <3 I cant be bothered with those people that are reaching my boiling point.

I hate the last days of fun, I really really hate to pack up and leave. Got up early for a last quick dip in the pool. Hope I did burn some fats by all the swimming that I did. Hate myself for being so clumsy, now my head hurts from the bang I had with the pool wall. I swam with my eyes closed, how senseless can I be? And yeah, my Baby laughed at me. Thats my own style of swimming is there a prob honey?! Hehe. Packed our heavy bags and off we went back home...

Everything is tense and gloom.

Finally back home after a exhausting tiring day out. It seems like I had wasted my time stepping out instead of getting my hearty sleep. So, I flew all the way to the other side of my hometown, had yummy thai chicken rice for my late lunch, brought two packets of my favourite biscuit and flew back home. What a hell wreck! Disasterous, how bad can this be. Im kicking so hard for tomorrow to come, finally meeting up with my b.f.f! We've missed out so much girl talks and there's so many things left undone for us to do. May we girls fill it all up tomorrow!

Everyday of my life is totally messed up, and I've been praying & praying for a better day without fail every night before I sleep. Yesterday was one of the worst days ever in my life, the feeling of shit coming my way (again) after so long just makes me so frustrated and upset. The giant amount of teardrops holding back in my eyes seems so eager to rush out. I finally took some time alone to talk to God before bed. Explaining everything to Him is never hard cause He's the only one who knows my heart best among anyone and I dont have to squirt so bad to find the words to let Him understand how I really feel. And finally, He answered my prayers and came to my rescue. And indeed, he gave me his word & I had a better today. How grateful can I be? Im on my knees. Also, very grateful for those who never failed to be there for me when my world was crashing and when I was breaking down. You all are my God-sent-angels.

I HATE SCHOOL. School is one of the big things that is giving me a fuckin headache. This is so not unfair. Its my holidays now but it seems like it aint holidays at all! I've tolerated the first week of my holidays, going back to school for extra curriculum. Waking up in the wee hours of the morning when everyone else is asleep, sleeping till they are satisfied cause their holidays are already declared, is something I never want to repeat again and also something that I have been tolerating. Everyday of that sucks I swear. And now?! Im fucking chosen to go back to fucking school for another fucking week for fucking lessons. What the fucking fuck. I hate being so vulgar here but I cant help it! This is Shit. Furthermore, my chalet next week clashes with it & mom&dad are being so unreasonable insisting that I skip the chalet and go for the shit. I have been waiting so bad for the chalet days to relieve myself from all the school stress but its adding on instead. Why is the school being sucha bitch, why?! Racking my brains for a huge change of plans... *Sigh. This is such a D-E-S-T-R-U-C-T-I-O-N. Skip it? Or skip not? This is an emergency, I need some serious help. (Dialing 995)

Well well well, ignore whatever bad is cocking up.. Im still alive and kicking, but not kicking as hard as I used to. One of the happy things that happened to me recently is that I finally finally finally got my camera & lenses which I have been waiting and waiting for my whole life. A thousand cheers for that! Finally I can get some decent pictures of my life so stay tune! A number of events are coming right up which's so anticipating, chalet+work. Hopefully the chalet would be a blast and nothing could go wrong or get in the way. And and and, im finally picking myself up for the first time training myself for the good-positive-working-attitude. Hopefully, the work would go well and I'll not screw any or abit of it up. Work would make time fly and also, teach me that money is hard to earn. I can finally work>get paid>spend it>without regrets. Does this link for you? Wishing myself the best of the best-est.

♥//

I miss my boyfriend tons. If you're reading this hun, I want you to know that my love for you is always and forever strong no matter how badly im breaking down nowadays. Clear your doubts about me if you have, please dont give up on me cause I will never give up on you. Thanks for showing me that you care and sometimes, when you dont care. At least you did, im already contented. The fact is you mean so much to me and nothing can change this fact. I apologise for my bad- lousy-sucky-moody-untolerable-attitude that I've been acting up nowadays. Im dying to keep you with me, stay with me. I will always remember what made up this love we share. I miss your nose, your smell, I miss you my lil' apple. *Hugs&Kisses.

It seems like my world is crumbling, my dreams are dashed, my hopes are once flying but now they're crashing, everything is falling apart, im toppling to the other side, my heart is dead, everything is fading away, im walking in the rain, my head is spinning, my mind is twirling, having a ironic headache, carrying a big load on my shoulders, the heavy feeling in my chest, my uncontrolled emotions, the never ending doubts, the feeling of everything-is-not-right, searching for the trust I need so badly, feeling that the world is against me, everything bad is coming in my way, being better off alone, everything is getting outta control, tripping each step I take, crying out to God to save me, sitting and staring into space trying so hard to figure a way out, when nothing is changing and nothing is working and nothing feels right for me anymore.

F.M.L.

(Fuck My Life.)

The Party Box and The ACSlusive People proudly presents
A joint venture, collaboration

THE (M) PARTY @ ZIRCA
“It’s ME party”
16th NOVEMBER 2009, MONDAY
Doors open 9pm – 4am!

Mega! Music! Models! Me! Midnight!
It’s that time of the year again where we kiss goodbye to our notes and books!
It’s that time of the year again where you to put on those dancing shoes of yours, coupled with your glitterati
And get ready for THE (M) PARTY 2009!

For one night only, Zirca (the previous Ministry Of Sound) opens her iron gated doors to
All the party loving and going people out there!
Join us as we party with the State Of The Art Music Sound system and the newly renovated arenas within Zirca!
Whether you’re one-two-steppin’ or – just oh so beaultiful
We want you to be part of the HOTTEST, and the HUGEST
MUSIC EVENT of 2009!

Be part of this year’s 2009 (M) campaign where we just selected
108 beautiful people
with Mega characteristics and Model like features and of course, the Magnetic X Factor
to participate in our (M) campaign where we support
The (M) Party
celebrating all good things beginning with M!

Featuring different sets during the night, we have
Singapore’s youngest rapper at 17 yrs old, Mister ShiGGa shay to hype up the night with us
Accompanied by DJ Joel, who we heard that his beats will sync up the beats of your heart!
Ladies be won over!

We also have veteran musician DJ DANIEL TOK in the house, accompanied by MC SOF with a special guest appearance by
A Mysterious character known in the pop art scene!
MC SOF with his B-Boy Crew will burn up the dance floor for us!
Watch out for a spontaneous Bboy Battle going on as well!

Next up, Two Face featuring the ever quirky Linda How and the lanky and beautiful Grace Tsunami
As they pump up the beats for us with their newly remixed Electro Pop and House!
We embrace Diversity!

And lastly, a 40min guest performance and appearance by The Ever Salacious and Desirable
Miss Collette Claire Miles
Model & Musician
As she takes over the decks, flanked by her team of models from The Newpaper New Face and
Her possie of boys from Stellastory just for one night,
Be prepared to enjoy jiving to the Music as you enjoy watching her doing her stuff!
*we heard she’s hot*

The (M) Party @ ZIRCA
“It’s Me Party!”
16 NOVEMBER 2009, SUNDAY

Doors open 9 pm – 4am!
Pre-sale: $24/-
Doorsale: $30/-
(Inclusive of first drink)

** more details coming your way, if you would like to be a part of The (M) Campaign coming your way in 07 days, please contact ____________”
“We are Painting This Town MMMMMMM”

*General entry is restricted to patrons aged 16 and above.
It is an offence to consume alcohol if you are a minor. Alcoholic drinks and mocktails are available at the bar. Please note that alcoholic drinks are strictly for those aged 18 and above. Identification checks apply at the door. Please produce your Identification Card or passport. The Management reserves the right to refuse entry at the door.

Interested in attending? GET YOUR TICKETS FROM ME NOW!

Contact: Lydia, 91540122

Too shy to call or text?
Msn: lydia_hoon23@hotmail.com

the best thing about me is you.

The day we found each other, will always & forever be inked in my heart. Moments spent with you have been heaven and bliss, the best time of my lives. I have never ever felt a love so true like you. Thanks for making me your chosen one, and im really glad that you're my chosen love. I have never regretted this love we had, instead im yearning for more in this relationship. We still have long paths down the road, you have proved to me that we can make it through together no matter what will weaken us along the way. Im not afraid of rocky roads nor hurricanes that might blow us down cause I know I'll be fine with you beside me. Nothing seems to matter at all, cause I know I got you with me. I want you to know that if the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more, you would still have me beside you, blowing soft kisses on your lovely lips, holding your hands tight, wrapping you closely around me. You are the best things that have ever happened in my life and I know deep down that we have a love so true. You are so special among others and no words can describe how happy and glad I am to have you. Thanks for giving me this chance to love again, to love you, to teach me what is love, what is the meaning of true love. I give you my word that I'll do my best and give my 101% in this relationship, I will not make you cry, make you weep, tear you down, crash your world, hurt you nor break your heart. Give me your trust here Baby, I promise to make everything worthwhile for us. Though the days we have started this love seems short, it seems like I have knew you for years and this love im feeling from you is stronger than I have ever felt. Lets do our part in this love story and make this last as long as we can cause I never want to lose a gem like you. You have left footprints in my heart step by step from the day we met and I want you to keep walking step by step right beside me no matter where our footprints will lead us to. You are my everything and im simply all about you. Whenever I think about the love we had and the love we made, you got me going crazy wishing I could go back and make this love happen faster, I would Baby, if I could. It just feels so damn good with you around, the load you have brought me on my shoulders is never too much. I never thought I would be in love with you like this, when I look into your eyes my mind just goes on a trip. You got me thinking about our live, our house, our days to come as time passes by. You are the reason to my true smile, I smiled my biggest for you, laughed out my lungs for you. I know if im falling, you wont let me hit the ground, and if im sinking I know you wont let me drown. No matter what anyone can say, your heart is the only place where I belong and no one will ever take away this love we had, nothing could come between us. If its the end and everyone is gone, I'll be standing right beside you Baby. Whatever wall is between us, I know we'll break through. Nothing's stronger now than you and I, cause your love is all I got and all I ever needed. This love aint gonna stop. Lastly, I want you to know that even if everything starts to fail, and the world is toppling to the other side, you know that I'll always be here next to you forever and always, as long as you want me to. I have never felt so loved and cherished for a very long time, thanks for this dream-come-true. You're my dearest, I love you for who you are and definately not what you are. I love how exceptionally you stand up from the rest and just be yourself. Your love has got me addicted, I'll be like your medicine when you're sick, you take every dose of me. Time will prove for more to come, stay close, dont go, we'll make this perfect than it already is, long lasting and loving. Be it you pinching my cheeks, tickling my chin, holding my hands dragging me across the road, being so patient with me when im always the last to finish my food, telling me how pretty my lashes are, fighting with me over who's paying the bill, being so paranoid about other guys out there, the way our eyes meet while holding my hands tight, your wet kisses, your warm hugs, your soft whispers of 'i-love-you's' into my ears and me nodding my head, your flaws, your perfections, your past, your present, your future, every single thing about the one and only you just makes me love you more every second. Days without you are so terrible and I really wished you could just stay right beside me every minute & every second. All these words may mean nothing but I seek time from you and you will come to realise that you're the one i love deep down truly.

I mean it when I say I Love You, I really truly do. ♥

You gonna be mine forever, Lim Jing Guo.

So, out with Heart on monday! Finally met up with her after so long and the day was awesome with her as usual. Getting in looking at the menu realising there's nothing we want to get and then running out of a restaurant was a great start plus a great laugh. Spent our hours at chambers, fixing our eyes right on the computer screen. Chambers seems like my second home now, you can find me there almost everyday. I guess I got addicted to l4d and the zombies in it, im craving for the game right now, and I need the game with me so I can play it at home so terribly! So, maybe I can stop making my way to chambers and spending so much for the hours im there. I hope she enjoyed the game cause I definately did as usual. Addiction is a bliss and also a killer. Anyway, I finally spent on a nail polish at the face shop and im loving the awesome colour I got. I cant wait to paint it on!

And yesterday! It went out fantastic and my day was made possible by my Besty, Joe and my Precious! Again, very glad to meet up with Besty after some time. Thanks to the pizzahut treat lunch from Besty, and the topless 5 ice-cream, the bread which i-dont-know-how-to-explain, the usa fries at swensens. Thanks to both of them who accompanied me to the pet shop to decide on the little adorable hamster that im getting oh-so-soon! Im still in the mist of deciding whether I should get one or not? Any ideas and suggestions anyone? Im afraid that I would be getting it out of its cuteness and curiousity. I dont even have the guts to hold that little thing, that makes me hold back real bad. Hope Daddy will acompany to the pet store at east coast as he suggested and hopefully I'll get a better hamster there with a whacking deal. Back from where I started. Did much catching up and sharing with each other and definately we had a great time! Acompanied Besty to get his new big-big screen computer (im jealous) and we wrote off many lucky draws together. That was crazy! Hope I have been of some help. I hope he's happy with his new computer and also hope that he enjoyed the day as much as I did. Looking forward to meet you up again, Besty!

Halloween is round the corner and its so happening already! Im excited for this Saturday to come as I'll be probably celebrating halloween with some wild night plans! We're still stuck in two dead worlds, sentosa or escape? I need to step into a haunted house and scream my hearts and lungs out. And and..... I cant wait to see my 'lovely little apple' (only precious & malcom knows who im referring to) cause I just NEED to see my apple my lovelie my everythang A.S.A.P.

It feels so dead here and I hate it when im lacking of pictures. It seems like I have more words here than pictures. Im still waiting to recieve my camera from my parents which I have been waiting for oh-so-long. Im stil waiting for my lenses and cameraaa, can you both please hurry come to me.. Its the last week of school today and I cant wait to end this! All I need now is a clean long break from school. Extra curriculum? FUCK YOU.

All the tears I cried for you
Have dried up like sand,
And even though I miss you
I kind of understand.

For this symphony of sorrow
That my soul somehow did paint
Has started to fade away
Its melody, now faint.

The sorrow that my heart felt
Has started to disappear,
And I no longer fall to bits
Knowing your no longer here.

Its not that I dont love you still
For deep in my heart I do,
But now when I wake up each day
My thoughts are not of you.

You were the only symphony
That my heart could ever play,
The man that I loved intensely,
Yet the one, who walked away.